if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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