dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize