who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize