Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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