my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
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Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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