singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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