take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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