that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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