genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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