Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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