:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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