remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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