You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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