its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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