i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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