Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize