I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
God, I missed his penis.
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