That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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