would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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