why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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