She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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