They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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