At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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