i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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