hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize