At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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