my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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