Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My feet surprised me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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