i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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