So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize