Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize