At least make sure they are 18
Why
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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