weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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