So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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