At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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