How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize