look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize