i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Text me some of your sweat
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize