i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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