Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize