I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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