I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize