i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize