I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize