u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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