i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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