I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize