weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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