Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize