is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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